Sunday, March 14, 2010

Sugar Cookies and Sex Appeal

Today when we walked into the chapel for Sacrament meeting, I noticed two things: One was the number of young men and women in formal wear and the other was the alluring smell of white cake in the air. If you know me, you know which one was the more interesting to me. (Here's a hint--I'm a sugar addict.)
After I thought through the possibility that it might be Mother's Day, or a new holiday in honor of early-switch-from-Daylight-Savings, I realized that there was probably no dessert in my near future. So I turned my attention to the Prom dresses. It was interesting to see that more young men than young women from our ward had gone to Prom. At least, I counted four tuxes and only two ball gowns.
Can I say that I still think it's weird that there is this tradition here in Utah to wear your Prom clothes to Church the day after? I mean, sure they're expensive and you normally only get to wear them once, but they are a little flashy for Sunday worship. One was FUCHSIA with a huge tulle skirt, and the other was cut DOWN front and back--and inadequately disguised with a loosely draped wrap. (Here is the too-low-cut dress.)

I tried to contain my judgementality by sketching some lovely future prom dresses for my daughter--I do believe you can be stylish, attractive, and modest at the same time. Because I can't really draw they ended up looking like something I knew my daughters would never want to wear. But for fun I told them they would get to have high-necked, long sleeved dresses made of wool. Or poison. (That's so boys can look but not touch.)

After the meeting I followed both Prom dresses up the stairs for choir practice. The smell of cake was so strong, I remarked on it out loud. That's when FUCHSIA informed me that it was the other girl's perfume. Other girl then said, "It's called "Sugar Cookie.""

I sat next to her during choir practice so I had half an hour to ponder the effect of that dress combined with that smell on any normal teenage boy. At some point I said to the girl, "I imagine that scent is really effective." Her reply?: "Oh, yeah!" I twitched with the impulse to jump out of my chair and go tell her date's mom.

By the time my son hits high school, I hope they've developed portable sensory deprivation chambers. 'Cause that's the only way he's going to Prom.

16 comments:

Jenny said...

I fear for your kids' social lives. I mean portable sensory deprivation chambers? (But can I have one?)

I actually was a little distracted by the fuchia dress as well. That thing was huge! And fuchia! I say, if you are going to wear a prom dress the next day...at least arrive at sacrament meeting on time, right?

And when we got home Andrew said, "I saw the most beautiful girl today at church. She was wearing the most beautiful dress."
So I guess it starts pretty young, huh? (Or maybe he got confused between beautiful and tasty smelling?)

Jake said...

We need to find a place to buy the following items in bulk:
Modest wool turtleneck prom dresses dipped in poison.
Portable sensory deprivation chambers dipped in poison.
White cake without poison (for edith to eat)
I really didnt know about the dress tradition but I am buying Rebekah some of that perfume.

Jake said...

As an aside, what is a FUCHIA? Is that a brand of dress? I tried a web search and nothing matched.

kate said...

ha ha ha!! i always hated that tradition and never followed it myself. it just seems weird. and rude to all the girls who didn't go to prom. i feel so bad for boys, but i tell you what, ima get me some of those products you mentioned for my daughters.

jake-fuchsia is an offensive shade of orange-pink.

JennyHP said...

The model wearing that fuchsia dress was a Barbie, right? Why don't they make Barbies with normal sized arms?

Jenny

kate said...

this was so funny edith! you need to post more!!

Star said...

You are so funny! Sugar cookie perfume? What will they think of next. I think we should start a clothing line, poisoned wool prom dresses would fly off the rack! As an accessory we could offer mace filled corsages!

victoria said...

"with" my screaming . . .

victoria said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenny said...

Oh, so THAT'S how you spell fuchsia!

Katie B. said...

Wow. I have never heard of this tradition before. I'm just glad I never saw it while I was in Utah. That's pretty horrible. Personally, I love lotions and things that smell like baked goods. I have some cinnamon roll lotion that's to die for.

WV: stbobili

edith said...

Alright, already! fuchSia! What a silly way to spell.

Jake said...

I kinda can't help wanting to hear the story about the deleted comment. Also, when did you change the spelling of that furshba color in your blog? Now my comment makes for confusion. lol ;-) Like ole' Mark Twain used to say in his bloggin days: "It's better to leave it misspelled and let readers take the article to comment journey." Also, though a good article to begin with, the article keeps getting better. I'm glad I re-read it so I didn't miss out. The near twitching part was a 'later draft' bright spot for sure.
By the way, I just looked down and saw my most normal WV word yet.....
hickeys!

Jake said...

I talked to the FUCHIA dress girl. Turns out her date's mother makes the best sugar cookies in Utah. It has been her lifelong dream to eat one and so she thought she should send him a hint. She got a cookie! (and that's why she was so happy about it's effectiveness.) Weird huh?

J to the oey said...

What a lovely post. This prom tradition needs further investigation. I think it may be unfair to call it a Utah tradition. I have seen it happen here in Tennessee. However, we go to an LDS church in Tennessee that does have a fair share of Utah connections. Interesting.

J to the oey said...

May I add that the "Oh, yeah!" dialog made me laugh hard.